i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
