Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
