he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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