i permit you to call me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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