evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
