PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
