I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
