I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
