I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
