A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You are a genius and a whore.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
