Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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