sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
