i will never coherently bang her
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
