There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
