we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
