I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
