doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
