The maid of honor just puked.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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