When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
