Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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