K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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