I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
