you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
