If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
