I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
its not stalking. its research.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
