A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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