I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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