Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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