And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
