I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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