I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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