Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
