I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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