so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
