Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
