i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i came on her dog
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
At least life still wants to fuck me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
