Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
