Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
