i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
