Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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