nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
