No stitches, just platelets and will power
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
