Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You're like the curious george of whores
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize