Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
