I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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