i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
