he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
