I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
