I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
