Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
