The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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