butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
