this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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