No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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