you traded sex for a burrito?
It's just like the Real World with babies
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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