you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
