Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
