Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
